She was in love with him, but she was too scared to tell him. She was too scared to admit that he made her feel things she never thought she’d feel in real life. No one ever talked to her the way he did. Like he actually wanted to know her, like she was actually worth knowing. He confused her and made sense to her at the same time. He was her best friend and she trusted him so much. But she didn’t trust herself enough to tell him she loved him. She didn’t trust herself enough to not make a mess of things.
Then there was the hard part. She couldn’t make him love her. She couldn’t force him to want her as much as she wanted him. She loved him. She wanted to tell him that he didn’t have to change a thing about himself, the world could change itself if it wanted to. She wanted to tell him he was perfect just the way he was. There was so many things she left unspoken, and she wished she hadn’t. It felt so jumbled up in her head, what she felt, what she didn’t feel. She was losing her mind, and for the first time ever, she didn’t know how to stop it. She didn’t know how to make the tears stop, she didn’t know how to make the pain go away. She knew nothing, for she was lost.